As a girl I was melting, laying in wait, dead on. I heard I was fortunate, a body of water. I was guilty and nearly and couldn’t fly away.

*

It’s easy to give up dead. And after a swinging fist, I was light. It’s easy to give, but I’m caught in a dog’s howl. Dead, there is ticking. An easy embrace, this playing, this praying.

*

The horse that I am is nearly hidden away. There are beautiful horses everywhere. A beautiful view here and there. I couldn’t see any of it from where I was, all alone in the called-back wreck of things, and getting out is like dying. Guilty and a liar, I was looking to dance for a while.

*

And after I’d gone walking through the places that were there for me, I was prepared to take hold. I was in preparation for a dead girl. Taking hold and taking in, trying.

*

You catch the light and it’s easy. Lucky. I was lucky all at once, giving up. I was swinging this embrace around and got caught in a ticking. It’s easy to be playing this, easy easy easy. I was learning how to howl.

*

I was horses. An alone horse. I saw a beautiful view. I called back towards it, looking to get out somewhere. There was wreckage among the liars. And dancing far away, I could see them all, just nearly.

*

When you catch the light it’s easy to give up and play dead. It’s easy to play all the parts at once. And after I was dead there was a ticking of course, a dog’s howl of course. There’s a swinging fist falling and I was caught back behind it.

*

Supposedly, there’s a better way to go about things. I’ve heard this said. I’ve heard it said all over the place. When a notion gets into your head you shouldn’t have to think about it. You shouldn’t have to always be good.