Poems by year: 2007  2006  2005  2004  2003  2002  2001  2000 
By series: Bridge St  In Yr Ear  Ruthless Grip

Why Jesus Hates Architects

hey dickhead and by dickhead I mean critic
the great thing is so many extremist lunatics
think I have written a book

what me people are annoying these days
that never hard fake feet picture
the trap of sentimentalism and “wake up”

old dudes at Wal-Mart go cry in to your big sweaters
good at alterations? good am please! Should’ve been there
because much teacher nudity busty organization

stuff Brad told me after dinner he hasn’t heard
because he owns 3 boards and the fact
that he is a surfer raging against a plywood door

and really check it out next thing we heard
Dave the Cat Professor walks on the beach but is comfortable
he is the antihero he can merge them for you

let's see how it would play out
person a: hey dickhead
person b: fuck you bitch

who has the ass-kicking armies
technology visit also the following drunk teen
also the following teen visit also

obviously you exorcises the demons
of days be gone; “pantydust” me
election fraud (liquid meat) this is like music

a genetic condition that makes the sufferer
“rage against the machine”
did not run its spark out of Edward Said

“I hate YMCA man
I no make for YMCA”
hey dickhead write a motherf&cker back

Ape Diet Parking Lot Effect


I have my brain bifurcated for a long time now
I not real keen on this post-Tofurkey day rock-out
“shake it like a Polaroid picture” aneurysm repair
Cartesian balloon-decorating rent men Beyonce bibliography

oookay then (postgenital) Japanimation ultimately because
the structure serves serendipitous crazed tigerkitten mobscene
buggling Philippine fizzle weck background pollo yachts
“my bad” no-spin zone sweet synergy shark matrix
absolutely! all-natural action items big-government bling bling
nucular on-task outsourcing repurposing tax-and-spend
tight! undisclosed secret location encyclopedia of spanking
value-added jump-the-shark win-win mission
amateur women painting on the breasts in public
they all petite undressing by the pool sexo camera

my skinny rockstar of a boyfriend has good kitchen equipment
using his tubular tongue while in his Brainiac form
his tongue bifurcated because bathrobe girls crisis centers bisexual rape-me lyrics
if you are offended by it go play Ultimate Frisbee

the real and very frightening chocolate botox party
where every day is Naked Day
truth-destroying Claire Danes shower fairies
whose way of life is being taken by tanorexic gropenfuhrer asshats
and Marx tobacco toe cleavage tombstoning male body-shaving no “blings” attached

if you are a human go away in peace
if you’re a flexitarian no doubt you’ve tried to meet metrosexual MILF
to go for a scroll if she ever actually tried (dah-te-dah!) metrosexual jive Tofurkey
puberty’s mustache by comparison is a clipped and neat subnasal trapezoid
wanna know where you should put the Tofurkey? western New York

digging through my metrosexual toolbox crafted from Tofurkey
here is my “sex tonight” “sex with Monkees” “suck bicycling” ring
big placemaking ape diet parking lot effect
bifurcated into cool “bifurcated redundant ass”
working my way toward the animal groove
working my way toward the groove