from alibi (that is : elsewhere)
8
nicotine, rain, curry-- you see, all yellow things one expects to pine for. so watched a Belfast movie that began sadly & ended sadly-- neither more sadly nor less sadly. rather, exact. & started a letter : since I left your city. we force the clock contrary to its hour : face east, the weather being clear, watch for birds, nothing from whence they came & in what sort they wag their wings, &c. having given my mouth over to your inflections, that glamour descends from grammar; having masterfully passed over nine burning ploughshares, you propose to address me infanta; morning, like a dog in a manger. 9 placebo -- I allow it's fatal to kill swallows. a weather, of another kind I say : cup of tea, cup of tea, cup of tea ? he smites me. smitten, again I am all the words I wear indicating that this is so only moreso. smitten-- & taken to wearing more metals (look this up, what is augured there) & spent the morning entire explaining absinthe & semi-colons. an effort to be sensible, to alter the material of air with mere pronunciation. 10 this is the miraculousness of caulk. the difference between a physic & physics. unstable quantitativeness. a gin & tonic with lime & quinine- I've seen you play the saint with your bitten fingernails, your sermon-crooked mouth, your iodized preservative. dear, since I left your city I bruise easily & sleep too much. butterfly bushes & the flutter cross the Atlantic, your lessons in chaos. such a day may require six hours of wittiness, forgoing responsibility for long walks, a comedy of manners, or a commentary on social errors. I am tidy & grateful & as earnest as all the backyards in Philadelphia. made a sheep from wax, a few parallel lines there scratched. happy birthday, Judas Iscariot. 11 the legal definition of obligation-- heir to your father's enemies. the edge of a cataract-- perhaps I am curious for this place. elsewhere is still somewhere-- but perhaps not where the compass is-- your compass has fallen to earth & so. a bird killed in the yard-- feathers (white, unusual) hither & thither. evidence of a struggle. questions of proof & ethics. 12 laziness gave us ampersand & I am happier for it. were we to wake very early to observe staccato in the music of spheres or a prowler. were we to discover therein the lack-- all the indignity, advances, & indifference one must muster. you start the day at odd angles & predestination selects the coffeemugs. more spontaneous & less superstitious, please. if not lazy, then a slur-- in several senses. a great unending existential schwa. 13 she used to find beautiful its angle in air. she used to find beautiful the juxtaposition of natural & man-made things in air. she used to envy its underbelly & imagined destinations over the expressway. certainly there's an accurate phrase for this in a language I don't speak well. I'm prepared to forfeit my self-righteousness in escrow at this time. & (something) in the air-- (something) uttered or not, renunciation even. |  |
